Hi all. Sorry it's been a bit quite here this week - there's be a few things going on in life lately that have kinda messed up my zen a bit (a lot). You know where you try to explain to people what's going on inside and they don't really understand where you're coming from, so it makes you feel more alone in fighting whatever it is you're up against. Well yeah, that! But then, they way people deal with things are almost as unique as your fingerprint. So most of the times it just can't be helped.
So what better way to expel some of this bad juju than to try and put it into words on here and have a bit of a brain splurge. Hey - they say blogging can be quite therapeutic (besides the constant feeling of trying to please your readers, come up with exciting content so they don't stop reading you and the nagging feeling you need reassurance that you're not wasting your existence by spending 20 mins finding that perfect gif *nervous laugh*) so why not give it a go! Therapeutic. Ommmmmmmmmm.
The easiest way I think to describe how I'm feeling lately is probably with a metaphor. And y'all know I loves a good metaphor!
I feel like I'm standing on a rock being overlooked by a 200 ft dam towering over me. At the moment I have so much going on in my head, that the only way to deal with it at the moment is to just stay positive, keep everyone else positive and carry on as usual. Now there's an anxiety bubbling away; wondering if this damn dam is going to burst and I'll be swept away by the current, or will it be strong enough to hold for now until I can pump this rubber dingy up? Does that make sense? Probably not - but that's how I envisage it.
I feel like everyone asks so much of me. Don't get me wrong, I really do have a great life in many ways. It's just, I feel like I can't catch my breath and focus on the things I really need to because my time and energy are wanted by other people or things. I feel like I go above and beyond for everyone, however I don't feel like people do the same for me. You know? I know it's only temporary and the power to change things is all held within me - my battery is just running low at the moment. Hopefully this weekend I can plug in and recharge a bit!