Hello Ev'rbody and happy Monday! Now, I want to talk about something pretty deep which has been floating around my brain for a while now - the topic of or surrounding my feelings on feminism.

Disclaimer: this post is purely about getting my thoughts down on with the aim I can be educated. It's good to talk about things we don't fully know and understand - so please comment with your views. I'm like a sponge, ready to absorb and grow from friendly conversation.

Okay so where to start. I guess the first thing I'll say is that at this point I don't really know what I'm going to type - I'm just going to let it flow out and see where we get to at the end. I'm 26 now and I kinda feel like I have enough life experience to start talking about issues that I hold close to me.

I was brought up by my mother and grandmother which are massive role models in my life. Strong, independent, loving women. My grandma was literally the matriarch in our family and her word was final. I was also super close with my 2 cousins who were like sisters to me - and believe me when I tell you that the words "I'm telling Grandma" were the scariest words in the world! The point in me telling you this is that to me, it seems beyond comprehension that women do not have equal rights. Your gender should not determine your pay, your rights, your status in society. My brain literally can't work out why having different body parts means you are entitled to any more or any less than another human being.

I've always been taught to view people as humans first and everything else comes after that fact. To respect everyone equally - help everyone you can and to view the world with positive eyes.

Until very recently I would have called myself a feminist. I didn't research was being a feminist was or what it entailed. All I knew from other people's opinions was that it was the fight to get women equal rights. They are no more or no less than men. So why not support the cause and be a proud feminist, right? The only problem is, is that I felt a bit of a fraud.

I was part of a Twitter chat a good couple of months ago which got onto the topic of feminism - 'We need more views from men' I was told. I remember comparing the way people sometimes treat 'pro feminists' as gay people and I could relate in some ways how women feel, only to be met with 'oh great, another guy thinking he has a view on feminism'. What?? I couldn't believe it. I got my tweet RT'd - followed by a barrage of abuse. Needless to say I came away feeling pretty deflated and thinking what is the point.

I know this is (hopefully) the minority that think this way and my views and questions on it would be met with open arms by a lot of people. But for me it's an experience which has me questioning things ever since. Do I have a voice on the matter? Am I a feminist? Do I have the right to be? Do I want to be! And ever since that incident  - I only ever see pro feminists highlighting the negatives, never the positive progression that's been made.

I can't be everything to everyone. I get that. So in life I guess you have to choose where to spend your energy - alongside getting through daily life, family, friends, etc. Being gay is part of who I am - so the main place my energies should be spent, if fighting for a cause, should be gay rights. Right?

After some research on gay rights and feminism, I was quite shocked to see that 'gay bashing' was a big part of the feminist movement. I understand that this was many moons ago, however if young feminists are learning from their elders - would they not be passing on those rooted views? I really don't know - but it kinda scares me if that's the case. Have I been blindly following a cause that was against 'me'? There seems to be a lot of pro feminists out there who are very openly anti-gay.

There's loads of questions floating around my head which I don't know are right to ask or if they would get true answers but, things like: would every feminist be 100% ok with their child being gay/bi/trans? Would they be as equally ok with your son wearing a dress as you would your daughter wearing jeans?

I obviously would be 1000% supportive of this - but if you are a feminist who wouldn't be ok, then are you a feminist? Am I looking at things wrongly? Maybe.  I've been told 'if you believe everyone should be equal then you are a feminist'. But perhaps I'm not the right kind of person to call myself a feminist.

Perhaps a dreamer like me, a dreamer who wants to see the good in everything would be better of placing his efforts into equalism? Maybe I support gay rights + equalism. Maybe I could just be a human being just trying to do good in the world. I like that last one best. I'm completely comfortable playing the 'healer' role in this RPG world - supporting your causes as well as my own ideal.

Thank you for reading my ramblings - sometimes it helps to get things out of your head and into words. I honestly still don't know where my thoughts should be on this and once again please don't take my thoughts as stepping on your toes. As I said before I want to see other people's views and thoughts on this as I feel that's the best way to learn and grow.